Tuesday, September 30, 2014

met bb!

The look for Plaza Indonesia Men Fashion Week 2014 a couple of days ago! I am left with no words to explain my cluttered mind right now. Everything clash here and there. I am just hoping that I could shop all the beautiful Eye Catchy things I could see!

Dreaming of wearing a beautiful dress, having dinner by the sea, quartet mariachi on the other side playing all the favorite songs. paradise.

Putting on the stunning heels, dancing with the wind, with the birds and fish in the sea.

 Top - Elle Sasson // Skirt - Icorisio // Necklace - Mimco // Clutch - Dorothy Perkins // Shoes - Jeffrey Campbell

 And met the LOVELY Bryanboy! xoxo

Guys, I just started a new Youtube Channel, so I hope you guys check it out!
It's my first video and mind my bloated face, that was taken post-surgery. So I am not that fat. Kay guys? stop with the bullying ! hahaha

Wednesday, September 24, 2014



The moment you feel like no one is actually believes in your words.
The moment you want to close your eyes up tight til not a single flare of light sneaks through.
The moment everyone points their fingers towards your face.
The moment all the bad thoughts come into you.
The moment you wanted people to know that you are innocent and no one believes in you.

I was and am a big liar for the longest I can remember, I do create stories on my own to make myself seems legit and pure. 
I always have the urge to please people, and there I use my lies to make people happy.
I did so many mistakes I wish people would not know so I cover them up.

Even my parents stated that I am a good liar.
Even myself cheated to myself.

Now I am forced into the situation where I am innocent but people still judge me.
My heart's pumping and I feel like my emotion is boiling up.
I want to let them know and assure them how I did not do what they thought I did.
I am a liar but I am not shallow. 
I have an eating disorder but I don't steal.

People's perception in me is actually important but I just don't know how I can fix it.
The way those eyes see me determined their belief. 

How am I going to claim the faith they don't have in me?
How can I turn back time and be someone better?
The scary ticking clock never stops and cruelly torturing my mind.
The depression I am having is due to so many reasons I can't seem to handle.
Right now I feel suffocated my vision blurred, If only I can clear everything out and be free.

I can't breathe right cuz I feel so wronged. 
The air I inhale stuck on my throat, The air I wish to exhale is hold in queue.
I am sick and terrified. I am wronged.

Dancing with my pastel colored outfit, floating above the rainbow of sadness. 
let me be, let me free, let me go.
Let me find the best dress to runaway, into the woods or anywhere.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

black wedding

and so I just realised something, has it ever occurred to you to have a black wedding? As a couple of days ago, we all witnessed one of the most romantic proposal by Glen Alinskie, I started to think about marriage and wedding. Black should be on the list of everyone's wedding! Why not stand out? Why should we keep white the basic colors to any wedding dresses? Can't it be other colors too? Who set white as wedding mood? 

Dress - For Love & Lemons // Shoes - Derek Lam // Bag - Charles & Keith