my words

This is the writing I do these days. enjoy.

Part 1

Once upon a time, in a silent-quiet-noisy place called the balcony, a sweet girl called B is sitting with menthol cigarette between her fingers. Enjoying a captivating sky with no star, watching a chick-flick series like all other girls in her twenties do. She keeps her mind going all around the world, not knowing she only puts twenty percent of her concentration on the screen. She now begins to wonder, what’s a good kisser supposed to be? Is it that when you get your lips swollen after two hours making out? Or, just a simple peck with tons of feeling delivered. Then she says, “who cares?”.

A fling, yes, she is wondering about her fling, ironic but true, she has found someone to fill up the entire loneliness for two nights.  B is open-minded and straight forward, she does whatever she wants. Having her parents divorced since she was eleven wasn’t a big deal at all. Her brother who happens to be two years younger than her is staying just across the door. Yes, she’s living in a classic apartment with another two girls, Jess and Lily. Living under the same ceiling with two girls is fun, especially when they are just as lonely as B is.

Noted, Jess and Lily are both single too. But in fact, Jess has never ever dated a guy before, although she has whatever it takes to be the perfect girlfriend ever. On the other side, Lily has dated too many guys, I believe. Unfortunately, none of them can put up with her, well, she is gorgeous, smart and lovely, but the way she wants everything to be perfect is driving people nuts.
Good thing she takes care all apartment needs, call her the caretaker. She takes care all the bills, cleans dishes, everything and I mean it. B and Jess could never really live a comfortable life without Lily’s handwork on it.

Part 2

There you see a cloudy sky with robust wind blowing outside the balcony of three girls apartment. B, smoking cigarettes while Jess is drowned in her piles of works those need to be done before she knows it. Lily? On the phone with another stranger she just met four days ago in her tiny little getaway café, corner of Bourke and Spencer st, Kinfolk café. A little vintage café where all the staffs are volunteering, surprise surprise but it’s happening.

B, sensing her loneliness, taking a further step, planning a nice loner night. Should she walk a distance to her favorite bar in town, or just drowned in bags of doritos and kettles, watching any drama series she would cry for, it’s all her call to make. No one will ask her to do nothing, not much for a Friday night.

Grasping the fear of being alone, she steps aside and clears her head. Is being lonely really an option or can you just put up with it and live it. Embracing her independent spirit, she goes for a shower, put on little make up, deciding to bring her chick-flick book with her steps towards a hidden place in flinders lane. Sit there and watch the crowd goes wild, passing by while she sips her favorite chai latte, strong chai latte.

Part 3

She goes on and on, yes, she goes on talking to herself, repetitive words she would never understand. “Why do I have to be who I am now?”.

B has what people call hard life, deep beyond her smiles everyday, she holds this huge millstone inside her mind, therefore she keeps it to herself, not wanting people to dig it out and help her. She lets herself suffocating, not wanting people to ease her pain. Having a hard time to trust people, in view of the fact that she was betrayed a couple times.

Tick tock the clock ticks, she has this appointment with one of her old acquaintances in one vintage cafe, madame Brussels. High tea with chicken and chipotle sandwich with girls blabs. Another girls’ routine in a week. Little does she know, she often tells all of her stories to people which leads to betrayal. In this world, no such thing as eternal loyalty, people come and go. They stay then leave, never you can expect them to stay forever.

The moment she starts to realize the gruesome fact, she made herself look like a monster by starting to build a sturdy wall. Barrier to her heart sure is hard to be infiltrated. She is full of her thoughts and theories.

But nature will do no harm to you, the universe will try to fix you while no one else could. Somehow, Mother Earth has this plan for B through Jess and Lily, the invisible-winged angels. At some point, they will be the remedy, trust and certainty will be regained. Friends, the cure to daily’s bitterness. You can’t change who you are and what you are, but you can change how you are.

Part 4

Who defined guys as logical person and girls are more emotional? Is there any definite and exquisite satisfying explanation anyone can tell B. She just can’t help but to wonder, what if it wasn’t a really absolute fact, what if it was what the world has been spoon-feeding us?  That is really something vague, if we could ever turn back the time, can we really make guys wear skirt? Or even more, can we make girls the ones who fight in the war and guys stay at home, cooking and do chores?
Well, no one knows. We just have to thank whoever that big guy, the one who made the world has the same thought as him. All the rules and social structures they create are amazing. We are unconditionally driven by the social system and how the social structure works, in harsh way, we call it haste.
Well, B is just about to head out her house, the spring breeze brought unexpected gift, hay fever. She has to wear at least specs so she won’t have that teary eyes. Life is hard enough for her to hold back from tears, she doesn’t need any catalyst.

Jess and Lily are out the town doing their own businesses. Jess has this sustainability design seminar in Geelong whilst Lily headed Mornington with her new fling, George, enjoying the warm hot spring and strolling along the strawberry farm.

Now B is so pleased to go to Brother Baba Budan, one small café with great coffee blend. Enjoying her wandering thoughts, like a lost little girl in a princess castle, there’s this sense of scare but she loves how it feels inside a castle.

Tagging along all the soldiers, having chat with the maids, looking out into the kingdom garden, mystical creatures, all the good stuff

Part 5

Here she is, waiting for the next 112 tram, she feels like getting away, away from all the peculiar routines. Trying to get herself a perm, not hair perm, heart perm. Finding good chai latte at Café Sweetheart, munching the good healthy egg benedicts she loves the most. These days, she’s feeling gloomy, in a good way though, mellow feeling with a little laziness rooted in her days. Not doing any work, just let the days pass, looking forward to future, and what it holds. Scared to see what will happen, frankly, she is sort of LOST.

As much as Lily and Jess tried to cheer her up, she just won’t let go of her invisible and vague worries. Now she is sitting on the tram, quite a cold fall breeze hits her face as the tram’s windows are all open. What a silly stupid thing, she thought hardly. After a couple of minutes staring at the gloomy sky, she arrives at her destination. Quickly she takes a seat and orders what she has been wanting for quite some time, taking out her pack of ice blast and lights the tiny white sticks after pressing the magical minty ball inside the filter. Enjoying the day, just for herself.

Surprisingly, someone appears before her, one beautiful creature is sitting across her, glancing at her beauty with a deep smile. B can’t help but to blush, trying to avoid the intimate eye contact he is making. Looking away from a living precious sculpture has never been easy for her. Then, here he goes, in a blink of an eye, dragging the seat next to her, asking “Can I give you company?”
One sincere and exciting reply is, “Do I have any other option?”



Time flies quickly, finding out he is from New York, one hectic beautiful city, apple of the states. Facts like he is single and happens to be in Melbourne to meet people for business has amazed B. But is this chemistry true? How could she find herself so warm and comfortable sitting next to a stranger, well at least a couple of minutes before he was one, now he is a miracle to her.
“Are you sure you won’t tell me your name? then, can I have your number instead?” sweet low voice takes over B’s hearing, trying her hardest to play hard.

“Number? Sounds okay to me” Without any hesitation B tells him her number, another new thing she has ever done, until now.
“Then what should I put as my contact name?”
“You decide.”
“Well, since you have that sincere eyes and bewitching smile, I might call you Bonnie, in Spain it means the pretty little one”

Bonnie. What a coincidence he has made, since it starts with B. yes, one letter B.

Part 6

spending months together with mr.perfect has been a merry-go-round. Brunch every tuesday and friday morning, romantic movie night every wednesday, dinner on saturday and church on sunday. Little did she know she was madly in love with this guy, the fact that he never really revealed his story never really bothered her. she found it very interesting, very mysterious and bizzare in its own way. little kiss on the lips and on the forehead on every sweet goodbye was a massive touch.

for her, he was the masterpiece. like those beautiful colors on the canvas, portraying the nature in a delusional way, surreal but alluring, attracting all the possibilities to merge in the happiness, creating layers of glee. but then she began to wonder, after all they'd been through, so little thing she knew about this mr.perfect.

"love, can i ask you one question?" B asked innocently while she was in his arms watching bewitched.
"whatever you want to know, i am ready with my answers"
"then, can you tell me about you?"
"what do you want to know? don't you know me enough after all the seconds, minutes and hours we've spent together?"

seriously? "that's not enough, i'm just really curious by how your life's going. you were perfectly settled down in New York, amazing job, you even got your own luxurious apartment and all the goods you could ever imagine, then why would you even want to get your feet here? i know it is because of something related to your job, but again, why?" B's curiousity splatted out like a train on the track. she just couldn't help it.

there it goes, the anxious face and unpleasant gesture were all over his body, it happened as if one chemical reaction goes wrong, like when you grabbed someone's arm on the street thinking it was your friend but then it's not, he was just sitting there with blank stare and didn't say anything at all. the awkwardness consumes B's interest.

"why? why didn't you answer me? it wasn't that hard to answer this simple question, was it?"
"you asked to much, i gotta go.." suddenly he stood up and just took his jacket with him and stroll to the door.
"what happened? are you mad at me because i asked you this question?" he didn't answer and just keep going.

the door was closed in front of her eyes, leaving this big hole in her heart. what did she do wrong? why would he explode because of this one question? is it because of something bad actually happened to him in New York? or is it just simply a wrong question to ask? she would never understand this perplexed minded guy.

seconds to minutes, minutes to hours of waiting, B didn't get any reply from her mr.perfect. perfectly 6 months and 3 days since the first time their eyes met in the cafe. she felt hurt, but it's B. you never know how strong she is, how effortless it could be for her to juggle her mind, geting her figure straight back to her life.

the first thing she did was..

...

having a shower.


2 comments:

Michelle Melody ♥ said...

woaaaah! so cool story :)
you're great ci Michelle >.<

Xoxo,
Michelle

Felicity Mozdzen said...

If the e liquid shop is open during the day and my electronic cigarette is still working, I normally just like to take a seat, relax, and enjoy reading stories while smoking. I can strongly identify myself with the characters especially B.